In a lot of ways, 2020 has been a dumpster fire. In other ways, it has been a true blessing in finding out what, and who, in your life is truly important to you.
There are things I really miss: networking events, meeting up with friends and family for dinner, and hugging, to name a few. There are also things I don’t miss: inane small talk, going to gatherings because I feel obligated, and giving my time and energy to anyone who sucks it all out of me. This is a positive thing to come out of this pandemic – It is amazing how much you change by not having to be around unnecessary people and distractions. This is also where essentialism plays a part.
Essentialism is the act of creating an environment that supports the life you want to live. It involves simplifying to create an effective and peaceful surrounding, and it is the basis of my business. Have you noticed that you are happier when you don’t have unnecessary clutter and crap around your bedroom? Or how peaceful you feel when you finally get rid of that hideous lime green throw pillow you’ve had since college? Well, why wouldn’t you do the same thing with toxic people in your life? The same happiness is felt when you get rid of the clutter and crap in your social circle.
The coworker who combats any idea you have, the friend who always plays the victim, and the relative who drains all the energy out of you are people who are non-essential to a high vibe life. Just as you get rid of the bad energy in your home, there comes a time to get rid of the bad energy in your circle. The first step in doing this? Learn to use the word “No.” In Katie Boyd‘s book Ambitchious, she tells us that “No” is a complete sentence. When that toxic person asks you to grab a drink with them, or hop on FaceTime to catch up, just respond with “No.” There is zero follow up needed. It’s tough at first, but this is the best way to start protecting yourself and your energy from those who do nothing but suck it out of you.
As an empath myself, I have found it hard to cut ties with people throughout my life. However, the truth is that when you get rid of what doesn’t serve your best self, you level up in ways you could not have done previously. Of course it is important to be a kind human being and to treat others with graciousness and respect; but if a relationship is toxic in any way, it does not play a part in your essential lifestyle. The best way to approach this kind of situation is with a Bless and Release. Don’t spend time agonizing over it; accept what it, bless it for the lessons it taught you, and release it.